brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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