he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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