It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
