Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
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These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
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There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize