Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Randomize
