the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
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