And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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