Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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