I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
