Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
