I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
there is puke in my bra ... again
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