You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
