They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
