when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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