can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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