Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
