No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
