Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Randomize
