Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
