That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
operation harelip BJ is a go
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
vagina is talking i cant
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
