if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
