i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
