I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
