we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor