So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
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Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
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holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.