why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
