Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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