The maid of honor just puked.
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Randomize
