I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I showed him my bush... on skype.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
