This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
