We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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