'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
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