What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
She just used a chaser for red wine.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize