Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
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