I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I just had sex on a roof
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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