dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Randomize
