I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
