Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
