How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Randomize
