I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
