Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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