So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize
