omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize