You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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