So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Randomize
