I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
