he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
