You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
The Olympian is in my bed
Fuck me I smell like cheese
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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