theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I think your dad took our porno
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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