Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
