dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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