Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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