We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
