Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
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