honey bunches of taint.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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