I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
