i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
